Termination

First:

You retain me saying that "if you leave, you'll be leaving for an offer that's giving you about the same amount of what we are offering you currently after all the benefits (Shift allowance / PH OT)"

BULLSHIT!: Cause now all benefits are taken away leaving me with only 60% from what i'm really supposed to be taking home. You have caused me to be in more debt and i HATE you because of that.

Second:

You say that you'd try your BEST to offer an increment.

BULLSHIT!: The company ended up holding any increment for this year and i HATE you because of that.

Third:

You claim you want to practice standardization for all inbound departments, adding that we do not have enough work on our hands.

BULLSHIT!: I told you eff-ing so. Now you bring in more countries and more clients, everything can't be done in a day even after you jumping in to help (like yeah right!). We're eff-ing underpaid - doing more than other departments do, handling more than 1 client -but being paid the same as other departments are being paid. Where the eff is the standardization in that? And i HATE you because of that.

Oh God! Please show me some light and a path for me to get out of this horrid horrid place!

Feminine

I've come to realize that i'm actually quite a feminine female. The only un-feminine thing about me is my appearance i guess (i'm gonna be sticking to sneakers and flip-flops for a while to come).

How i came to admit to this? Well yesterday morning, my boss nak ikut bancuh coffee before i logged in for work. So while mixing and all, this conversation came up:

Boss : Syazni, can i ask you something?

Me : Hmmm

Boss : I know we're all modern Malaysians rite? but...

(Looooonnngggg pause)

Me : Yes?

Boss : Don't you get a li'l uncomfortable when she starts talking about her boyfriends / scandals? i mean....(well she made a face)

Me : I get what you mean, but i there's nothing much that we can do. I just listen if she's suddenly in the mood to tell but i wouldn't go start asking her about anything to do with her relationships. There's only so much that we can take in.

(another long pause)

Boss : Yeah, well i think she's just trying to prove that she's one of us. Actually, she's way more feminine than us. Especially you and me, well me...you are a bit feminine.

(boring long pause, still waiting for her to finish mixing her coffee)

Me : Yeah, i am feminine. The only thing that's not feminine about me is that i like to wear sneakers and i rarely wear make-up :)

Boss : Screw anyone who says anything about sneakers, they're comfortable.

Me : Yup, i think if one day if i have to start dressing up formal to the office, i will suit up, but instead of heels or whatever other kinda shoes that your supposed to wear with formal wear, i'd end up putting on a pair of converses.

The End

A few more things you need to know:

1. I don't only wear my Raybans to protect my eyes from the sun, i wear them so i can look a little more ganas and unapproachable to contradict my sweet li'l kiddie face cause i don't wanna be easily approached. (i know it sound way too lame...but yeah)
2. I love the girlie cloths, the make-up, the shoes (if i finally find a pair that are comfy) but i'm still too scared of the world and what people say and especially the competition (to me it's like a competition on who can wear the trend best, you see one girl passing by and then you look at yourself, asking yourself if you look better or worse. And if you look worse, you end up going on a hunt for something to make you look better and this will go on and on and you'll never be satisfied / If you look better, you'll go "well i look way better than her, die tak reti bawak langsung...bla bla bla"). Well actually i don't do the mentioned but i hate the fact and thank god i'm not a trend follower.
3. I'm a very manja person, but only to my favourite person/people and who i'm comfortable with and i know will be comfortable with for a long long time.
4. I'm a typical girlie-girl, I wanna get married and be the perfect wife for my perfect husband and be all beautiful for him every single day so he knows he's got something to come home to: A beautiful wife and good home-cooked food (although i don't know how to cook now, i will soon...hehehe) and then later on beautiful children.

Yang tu je kot yang i know for now, there may be some other people that know me better than i know myself and that perceive different about me, you can believe them too :)

So there you go, that's a little to give to show that i am feminine a little if not a lot.

Welcoming myself.

So here's the thing, this right here is just a platform for me (i don't really know for what) and also probably something to keep me a little more busy than i am currently. I'm not that much of a writer, a composer, a blogger (the least if not at all) but i thought of trying.

The end for now. Welcome Syazni :)